Hello and welcome to my blog! I am married and have a 5 month old daughter. My husband and I both identify as queer and transgender. This blog will primarily be to post about our experiences as parents and our interactions with the world as parents who are queer and trans. This first post is to introduce me. Hope you enjoy :)
Being trans and the experience of being a trans person is something that I've found can be difficult to put into words. With trans becoming more visible in today's society, there is a narrative that is probably assumed about my experience by many. Like that "I was born in the wrong body" and that "I feel like a man trapped in a woman's body". I've even told this narrative to people because it felt easier at the time than to try to explain my complex experience as a trans person. I mean, how can you describe something that is constantly shifting and taking on new forms while simultaneously falling back on to old familiar ones? I've had many a blank stare when I've used the word trans to describe myself. I feel like being trans is something that can be so unique to each individual. Like I can't just be like "oh I'm trans" and expect people to get it. People usually need to get to know me on a pretty personal level to really understand what being trans means to me. But now all you have to do is read my blog! Ha.
I am a female to male trans person on the trans masculine spectrum. I took male hormones for 8 years and also had chest surgery to have a male chest. Just over 2 years ago I chose to stop taking hormones so that I could begin cycling again and try to get pregnant. In December 2013 I gave birth to my daughter who I will call A for the purpose of respecting her privacy. Becoming pregnant and having a baby has completely changed my life. I would say it's also shifted my trans identity somewhat as well. I had never celebrated my body really until I became pregnant. Carrying a little life inside me made it hard not to. Even though I had chest surgery, my chest still has produced some milk. With the use if herbs and a supplemental nursing system, I have been nursing my baby since she was born. The experience of nursing and being pregnant has definitely changed my relationship with my body. It's like I've become more comfortable with my female body (for now) in relation to pregnancy and my nursing relationship with my child (if that makes any sense). I'm honestly not sure if this will change and if I I will want to go back on T one day. I just know I'm in this space for now and I'm happy. I'm cherishing everyday with my sweet young babe and while nursing can have it's challenges, I wouldn't have it any other way. The name I've chosen as a parent is Mapa. Because well, I'm not a daddy or a momma, I'm a Mapa.
That's all for now. I plan to write posts on my experience being pregnant as well as my experience giving birth in the hospital so stay tuned!
As far as questions or comments, this blog is intended for other trans and queer parents and allies. Feel free to leave comments and thoughts so I know you have been here!
If you are not familiar with transgender people and pregnancy and have questions, I encourage you to use google as I will not be answering any questions in this forum.
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